5 Things That Would Have Killed Grandma (if She Wasn’t Already Dead)

My dear paternal Grandma, was a very opinionated lady. You always knew where you stood with her. You always knew where she stood about everything. She was also a fun-loving and free-spirited gal. She loved television and when she lived in Los Angeles she got herself on some game shows. I never got to see her on TV. When I was a kid we only had tape recorders and they were not state-of-the-art. Forget DVR’s set up to record shows. Hell – we didn’t even have cable!

I spent a lot of time with grandma, on her couch, drinking diet soda and watching TV, game shows and classics like The Andy Griffith Show, F-Troop, The Beverly Hillbillies, The Rifleman, Perry Mason – I could go on, but I won’t. She never watched “serials”, which back in the day were what soap operas were called. They were too stressful for her to watch she told me. Everyone was always sick, broken-hearted or marrying the wrong people. She said they were too much like real life.

Reality: I have to laugh when I imagine grandma watching one of today’s “Reality Shows”. I doubt she would have watched many of them, based on their title alone. “Naked and Afraid” comes to mind. Last night I came across a new title: “Naked Dating”. I had to put on my glasses to make sure I was reading it correctly. When I stopped laughing, after 15 minutes or so, curiosity won out and I tuned in for a minute. A minute was all it took for me to confirm the stupidity. Picture this:  A man and a woman, completely nude  (their naughty bits are blurred out),  on a date.

Now this “date” was not your dinner and a movie kind of date. It was filmed at a nudist camp slash tropical resort, somewhere with huts on stilts along the shoreline.  So, it wasn’t a date at all, but a couple flirting over cocktails. Then the couple joined 2 other couples and all of them flirted with each other. No one went home with the date they came with. In fact, they left you with the feeling that switching partners was a normal occurence around there. And the show is filmed like Survivor, mostly interviews with the “daters” talking behind everyone elses back. Two thumbs down and no stars. Only the title is funny.

Facial piercings & tattoo’s: When I got my ears pierced for 8th grade graduation grandma shook her head and told me “Now you have ruined your ears for life!” If she found out about her great-great granddaughters ink she would punish ME, because somehow, I screwed up as a parent.

Her piano: I gave her piano, that she left to me, away!  To a great home and very, very nice family. The little girl who wanted to take lessons name is Lillian. Just like yours! How wonderful is that, heh?  It was a sign grandma, seriously.

The traffic on I-580: When I was a kid that freeway was barely a freeway and there only seemed to be traffic when you were waiting at the stop sign to get on the freeway. No Portola Ave. on-ramp then. A stop sign then turn left onto the road, as fast as your car could go. Things are waaay different now.

Her collections: She loved covered wagons and birthday angels. She kept grandpa busy building shelves and cabinets to display all that she brought home from travels, stores and garage sales. Back then she was considered eccentric and got written up in the local newspaper with lots of photos of her huge collection.

Now she would probably be sought out by the producers of Hoarders.

♥  TTFN  ♥

 

 

 

 

It’s Official – I Have Arrived

Ziva-HowlingLast week I was going crazy. This week I am HERE.

At first, I refused to think about how much I had going on. Secondly, I continued down the river (you know, de Nile) until I got here.  PANIC should arrive anytime now.

Oh, what have I put on my to-do list…

Board Secretary for Quilter’s Guild for the past few years. A lot of time consuming things, but not a bad position. I heard a rumor that someone else would be taking over as secretary in 2017.   Just wait, they’ll nominate me for President, or some crazy idea. It is an election year – Ha!

I am also the Webmistress for the Quilt Guild.  Write blog posts, take photos, yada, yada. I have tried to get others to contribute ideas or posts, to no avail. I suspect they do not read it.  [Pout]

Speaking about not reading – my novel is being sorely neglected. To make matters worse, I can’t decide on the ending. My next novel should take less time because I have learned to stick to the outline!  A comprehensive outline, that I put together BEFORE I start in.

Then, a couple of weeks ago – the final factor in my arriving at crazy – I decide to “do” Mary Kay because I absolutely love the products and have been a customer for many years and it just made sense.

Now I have inventory, business cards, customer catalogs, and a Website customers can order from me 24/7.  I have already had people contacting me on my website!

Because I had no spare time before becoming an “Independent Beauty Consultant”, I have no time to hit the local businesses and ask them to allow me to put a small Mary Kay “contest” display  at their business. I have no time to set up appointments to have parties to demo products, and make contacts  for future sales. But the beauty of this opportunity is that for now I can shop for myself with amazing discount benefits and I have no quotas I have to make.

Hey! It sounded like such fun.

Why have I done this to myself, you ask.

Well, don’t ask me!  I have gone crazy, remember?

♥  TTFN  ♥

Oh yes,  and please visit my Mary Kay website and shop around!  :-)

http://www.MaryKay.com/JLGreenfield/en-us

 

 

 

Football Has Never Been This Cute Before

Ah Oh! My Grandma is coming out with this post!…

I will be cheering for a new team this year – The NU Junior Miners, 8 and under.  It is the team my granddaughter is on. That’s right, I said my granddaughter.

FirstDayOfPractice1

I was able to attend the very first team practice on July 25th. It was exciting and very suspenseful it turned out..

I swelled with pride to watch our Chloe doing those running in place “down-up” drills. Coach praised her and said she was the fastest and to keep up the good work. Every 10-15 minutes, coach sent them all “to the bench” which meant run over to your parents and drink some water.

HydratingAtPractice

The high temp that day was 100 degrees, and it was still HOT when practice began at 6:00 pm. I was shocked to find out that practice lasted for 2 full hours – An hour past bedtime for some of those kids!

It was nearly 7:00 pm when the first kid lost it.

One of the older boys ran off the field. His parents were sitting on the edge of the field we were on. The poor kid was shaking and crying so hard he could barely speak. When he was able to get some words out they conveyed desperation and panic.

I want to go home now!” “I can’t do this!”  “It’s too hard” “I’m going to quit!” The more his parents tried to calm him the more desperate he became. These kids have run hard, and doing exercises constantly (even for water breaks they had to run off the field then back again).

If an 8-year-old boy is destroyed by the first hour of practice, how the hell is a 6-year-old going to hold up?  Well, she lasted for another half-hour before losing her mind. Shaking, Sobbing and repeating what was becoming the mantra of the evening “I can’t do this!  It’s too hard.”

I was impressed how parents reacted to this situation. They were calm and supported of their children, but wanted them to stick it out for the entire practice. They wanted them to sit (off the field) and listen and watch the team drills. No one yelled at the coaches to tone it down. There were no riots or injuries (like those soccer people always seem to have) either.

Once my granddaughter was calm and caught her breath, she was still reluctant to get back in there. Until coach started them on her favorite drill.

“Oh look! They are doing the defensive drills,” my daughter says.

“OK – I’ll try again,” Miss 51 said. Although her lower lip trembled, and her eyes had tears left in them, she put on her “brave face”, waved to us as she ran back onto the field and got into line. After her turn, she would circle back and get into another line. She made me think of the Energizer bunny – she kept going and going and going.

She managed to make it through to the end, 8:05 according to my watch. I knew she would. FirstDayOnField

Her first game is this weekend, and I am so bummed I can’t go! I expect my  daughter to take video!!  Would it be too much to ask my Son-in-Law to call me during the game and give me a radio announcer’s version? I’m thinking, hey, he’s there watching it anyway, right?

OMG!  She even stands like a football player – isn’t that so cute?

♥  TTFN  ♥

Synched Swimming

If there were an Olympic Event for Men’s Synchronized Swimming…

I LOVE these guys!

♥  TTFN  ♥

It Was Not Like I Hoped…

ExcitementBuildsThe afternoon of July 24th, at the Mountain Winery in Saratoga, CA. Sitting in our seats that were center  stage, 2nd row. Second Row! So close to the stage you were only 10 feet from the performers.  Our excitement increased every minute we sat there. I worried about my daughter’s blood pressure as well as her mental state.  Her fantasy man would be right there in front of her. She would finally see him in person.

TanyaAtVenue

The Hollywood Vampires were the performers of the evening. Johnny Depp, Alice Cooper and Joe Perry were the front men. As people claimed their seats, conversations about the band started up and we met our 2nd row neighbors.  After my daughter posed for a photo in front of the stage, other “early birds”  had to do the same. It was amusing to watch.

We found it odd that the front row seats were empty. Every seat unoccupied. Were all those people waiting in a special VIP lounge? Did the band pick who gets to sit there during the “meet & greets”?

When the opening act left the stage (he was an excellent musician and vocalist, but we had enough of him), the first row people began showing up. Whatever it was that kept them from their primo seats, gave me more time to enjoy the excitement and watch my daughter’s impatience grow.  She was going to be this close to Johnny Depp, she reminded me every five minutes.

The frivolity and excitement within me vanished the moment the seats directly in front of me were claimed by a tall couple.  Both of them were over six feet tall.  My 5′ 3″ could not overcome that obstacle, meaning I could no longer see center stage. “NO!”  I felt like crying and stomping, like a toddler throwing a tantrum. As cathartic as that would be, I sucked it up and took it like a woman. I was not about to ruin my daughter’s happiness by whining “poor me!” all night long.

I was not happy about this!  Worse, there was not a damned thing I could do about it, which made me even more unhappy – if that were possible.  Alice Cooper was the “front man” who stood center stage, so I was only able to see him when he danced about. Johnny was on the microphone stage right, so I could see him most of the time. The guy who played guitar way over on stage left, past Joe Perry, was really cute. I have no clue what his name is or what band he’s from. If YOU happen to know, please make a comment or send me an email! One of my dear readers must have attended this event, right? Y’all are so cool!

Even when I jumped up I saw nothing. Sitting, standing or dancing, my view was the same. At the low point of my evening, I had to sit down and treat hyperglycemia by chewing sugar tablets.  I  watched Alice Cooper singing center stage, not live, but from Mr. Tall’s large Samsung phone screen while he took (unlawful) videos. How I wished for the “property infringement” police to haul him away! If I knew how to report that sort of thing, I would have ratted him out in a heartbeat. Ha! So, Welcome to My Nightmare, tall people. I have no compassion for you.

Despite my bad luck, I enjoyed seeing my daughter swoon over Johnny Depp, catch Alice Cooper’s baton, and grab guitar picks thrown by Johnny and Joe Perry. I caught one of the picks Joe Perry threw out.  It is a simple white pick with “The Hollywood Vampires” on one side and Joe Perry’s signature on the other. Thanks Joe! I will treasure it always.

GuitarPick-F GuitarPick-B

The next concert I attend, I will have a front row seat. The band will be Aerosmith and I will get to see Joe Perry play his guitar, at last! And if it is an outside venue, I will be certain to wear my floppy hat.

♥  TTFN  ♥