Please turn me off

I decided I need a new accessory. An OFF button.

One push of this button and my brain stops thinking about a dozen things simultaneously and retreats into Stand By mode.

Total mindless bliss.

No brains, no headaches.

Like being lobotomized, but not.

I really need this button. There are too many people in my head and they won’t shut up. I imagine Sybil felt this way. Probably worse, since she had like 17 people in there.

With an OFF button I could vanquish my insomnia. Just one push of my little OFF button and I’m in dreamland. Ahhhh…

But who will push my ON button in the morning? Would my husband decide to take a vacation from me? I can just see him leaving me OFF, for days at a time. Until the food ran out in the fridge and he had no clean socks to wear.  Nope – better not trust him.

My OFF button will need to come with an embedded timer. One I can set to turn me back ON when I want to be ON. Not when someone else wants me ON. This would prevent missing days or weeks out of my life because someone “forgot” to push my button.

Oh. My OFF button should also have a built-in smoke/C02 detector. And maybe an audio over-ride, for emergency alerts. And grand-babies screaming. The audio over-ride would ignore telephones and doorbells ringing. It would also ignore stupid questions and whining.

Now I just have to wait until this accessory becomes available to the public. The way technology is going, that should be next month or so.

I wonder if I can afford it…

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