I could tell you that my life is one big happy party because I quit smoking eleven months ago. But why start lying to you now? That would be like using a pencil to write diary entries so I could change things to be how I wanted. And wouldn’t that be cool? But I digress…
The Bitch has been restless. (In case you missed earlier posts, “The Bitch” is my term for addiction.) Being totally aware of my approaching 1-year anniversary, Ms. Bitch has been throwing opportunities at me to buy, borrow, or steal a cigarette. She is very good at this. And because her wicked ways have worked so many times on me, she is relentless. She’s hanging around patiently waiting for stress and weakness to bring me down.
Not to worry – I have beefed up security and will issue a “high-alert” warning to my reinforcements.
No, I am not trying to be flippant or funny (this time). I really do have reinforcements. One friend supplied me with enough sugar-free candy the day I quit to last a long time. I still have some in my office. My BFF sent me a care package of assorted sugar-free lollipops, so I can do the “Kojak thing” when I need to. (If you don’t know what the Kojak thing is, you may be too young to be reading blogs on the Internet. Especially ones written by insane addicts. Just sayin’)
Fellow bloggers & readers cheer me on. The “Diary of an Addict” blog series has the most read posts this year at Not Pretending (to be sane). I hope that these posts sometimes help others keep their Bitches at bay. It helps me to write about it and be accountable for my behavior. I finally learned I couldn’t fight The Bitch alone.
I have a wonderful family scattered all over this United States praying for me to kick The F*^&$@! Bitch’s ass. Maybe not in those exact words… I admit asking God to send my Guardian Angel down to kick The F*^&$@! Bitch’s ass for me. In those exact words, BTW.)
God is pretty used to me by now, so no sense pretending 😉