Diary of a Nicotine Addict: Month 11

I could tell you that my life is one big happy party because I quit smoking eleven months ago. But why start lying to you now? That would be like using a pencil to write diary entries so I could change things to be how I wanted. And wouldn’t that be cool? But I digress…


The Bitch has been restless. (In case you missed earlier posts, “The Bitch” is my term for addiction.)  Being totally aware of my approaching 1-year anniversary, Ms. Bitch has been throwing opportunities at me to buy, borrow, or steal a cigarette. She is very good at this. And because her wicked ways have worked so many times on me, she is relentless. She’s hanging around patiently waiting for stress and weakness to bring me down.

Not to worry – I have beefed up security and will issue a “high-alert” warning to my reinforcements.

No, I am not trying to be flippant or funny (this time). I really do have reinforcements. One friend supplied me with enough sugar-free candy the day I quit to last a long time. I still have some in my office.  My BFF sent me a care package of assorted sugar-free lollipops, so I can do the “Kojak thing” when I need to. (If you don’t know what the Kojak thing is, you may be too young to be reading blogs on the Internet. Especially ones written by insane addicts. Just sayin’)

Fellow bloggers & readers cheer me on. The “Diary of an Addict” blog series has the most read posts this year at Not Pretending (to be sane). I hope that these posts sometimes help others keep their Bitches at bay. It helps me to write about it and be accountable for my behavior. I finally learned I couldn’t fight The Bitch alone.

I have a wonderful family scattered all over this United States praying for me to kick The F*^&$@! Bitch’s ass. Maybe not in those exact words…   I admit asking God to send my Guardian Angel down to kick The F*^&$@! Bitch’s ass for me. In those exact words, BTW.)

God is pretty used to me by now, so no sense pretending   😉


10 thoughts on “Diary of a Nicotine Addict: Month 11

  1. Dont know if this helps, but I used to tell Gene that he could never afford to retire and still smoke! Its been 17 years and he is really very happy that he quit! I know you can be strong and conquer the bitch forvthose two adorable grandchildren! Love ya, sis


  2. Ugh! Smoking addiction. Isn’t it the worst? I’ve been battling mine for years.
    My husband quit 7 weeks ago. Just flicked a cigarette to the curb one day and said he was through. No shit! Whatever! He’s tried to get me to quit ever since. Even went as far as saying he was no longer buying my cigarettes. He picked me up a carton Sunday. I guess it’s easier for him to deal with my smoking then my radical behavior.
    I think it’s great that you’re trying to give up ‘the habit’. I know the craving never seems to go away, but at eleven months the hardest part has got to be behind you. Do it for the rest of us ‘weak’ people. God knows I could use some inspiration. Good luck! 🙂


    1. Thanks Lou!
      Just so you know – it is way easier for men to quit. Something in the female physiology makes us more likely to become addicted as well as less likely to recover from it. (Those bastards are so lucky!!)


  3. I have a couple little reinforcements who just love to keep you so busy “the Bitch” won’t know how tofind you!! 😉 Love you mom, you are doing a great job!


  4. Jodi, I know you can do this! Remember how we suffered with the asthma and bronchitis in Germany? Remember how bad it felt to not be able to breathe easily, and when you had to use the little machine to exercise your lungs? Wasn’t all of that just the pits?? And could you ever imagine having to feel that way permanently? I know I do not want to, and I do not want to see any one I care about go through it either. Stay strong, and I will say a prayer for you too. ( I hope this post does not cause you to start referring to me at the Bitch now.) 😉


    1. Hey girl!
      No way you could be my Bitch! Great to hear from you. And yes, I do remember trying to breath in Germany but I forgot about the machine. Thanks for reminding me & commenting 🙂


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