Hanes Announces New Line Of Athletic Socks

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Hanes®, the leader in sock sales in the United States, will be competing with Nike and Reebok for a place among the manufacturers of wardrobe for professional athletes.

“We’re very excited here at Hanes,” said Richard Noll, Hanes CEO. “Our new product has been tested with athletes in every sport that requires the wearing of socks. They will NOT fall down.

He went on to explain about Hanes’ new elasticizing method that keeps socks up better than the current athletic socks. Not only that, but inside the socks are woven fibers that support an athletes feet, like a women’s support hose would do. His praise made this reporter want to run out and buy some.

“It’s only a formality now,” said Mr. Noll. “Every team will want these superb socks.” “We (Hanes) plan to ship a case of them to the 49ers running back, Frank Gore, who was fined by the NFL during the NFC Championship game because one of his socks had fallen down.”

That fine, inspired a research scientist (and big-time fan of the San Francisco 49ers) at  Hanes to create a non-falling sock. Because apparently, you aren’t properly dressed if your socks are down. The debut of the new socks is on-hold pending NFL approval.

Seriously – would you mess with this guy?  FrankGore

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This could be News, but it isn’t right now.

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