Men, as a general rule, are about as romantic as a rock. They HATE Valentines Day because it puts pressure on them to buy you something. They don’t have a clue what you would like because when you tell them things they aren’t really listening. Now they are on the spot.
Some guys will even break up with a girl before Valentines Day, the stress is too much for them. Other guys avoid the girl for a week or so and pretend they forgot. Then… the ones like my hubby, who claim they didn’t know what day Valentine’s Day fell on this year.
I used to get pissed off. The jerk hurt my feelings. He must not love me, or he would at least buy me a card. I would work myself up into a full-blown depression. Over freaking Valentine’s Day. Every year this would happen. Happy anticipation, then crash and burn. I HATED Valentine’s Day.
Then I wised up. Who better than moi to give me Valentine’s Day gifts? The first time I gave myself a Valentine, I admit it was out of spite. I was angry. I was sick of being ignored. It was a very expensive gift – part of me hoped that he would figure out he would save money if he gave me something the next year. I admit, that sometimes, I am ridiculously naïve.
The point I’m trying to make (and taking my sweet time to make it, sorry) is that your guy is probably about as romantic as any straight man. Which is, according to your (and most women’s) specifications, not very romantic at all. There is a reason for that and it’s called the “Y” chromosome. Men think completely different then we do, remember?
Men cannot be romantic “on demand”.
Most romantic expressions of love from a guy do not occur on your birthday, anniversary, Valentine’s Day, or Christmas. We are conditioned by advertisements and Hallmark to think those days are special. Men ignore decorations and advertisements, like they ignore how dirty the shower gets.
Get this – when men express romantic feelings, they actually do not realize they are doing it. It’s true! So, number one: we must NOT tell them this because that could ruin a good thing. And number two: We women must learn to recognize these expressions of love. We can’t keep feeling unloved and bitter just because we don’t understand them.
So, before V-Day comes along (next week!), I’ll pass along my many years of research, with how men express love. May this knowledge prevent you from getting angry or hating Valentine’s Day. And…for my male readers – This is not the post you are looking for.
Ways Men Express Romantic Love:
- Enrolling you in a life-time membership to their group interest. Hubby handed me a Harley Owner’s Group (HOG) lifetime membership. It took me awhile to realize just how romantic this gesture was, and why he was so excited to give me this particular gift. We had not been married very long, and I had not taken many rides with him, let alone have my own bike. Buying this gift for me meant he wanted to make me “his chick on the back” for life.
- Sneaking things to surprise you. I looked out at my rose garden one morning and a sweet little clay bunny looked back at me. One time, I was weeding and uncovered a raccoon. After 25-years of marriage, he has never admitted it, or been caught.
- Watches romantic movies. And most of the time he will enjoy them. No matter how often he rolls his eyes and says “Oh Brother!”
- Will go to Jo Ann’s Fabrics (or whatever store you love) with you. Even though he knows you’ll spend at least an hour looking, then you will need money. He likes watching you have fun.
- Brings you a gadget he saw in the hardware store, that he thinks you will like. That he thought about you at all, while in his favorite “man” store, says volumes, ladies.
- Despite your morning breath and bozo hair, he tells you “Good Morning, Sleeping Beauty.” Even after his successful eye surgery.
- Your car gets to park inside the garage. His big truck is outside.
- He builds you a cozy fire when it’s rainy or snowy before he goes out to work in his shop. He comes in every so often to check on it because you are busy writing or sewing and don’t like to mess with it. (This is his own idea, BTW)
- He saves the middle piece of cornbread for you. You know, the primo piece without crust that your own daughter will steal from you.
- Will eat left-overs all week because you are ‘on a roll’ with your novel.
Please, send me a comment or two about how your guy expresses romantic feelings (once you figure them out)! I will post them in my Valentine’s Day post.
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