A Post From Blogging Past

Looking back on when I first began blogging (2010), I learned that out of all my humorous posts, the ones people liked the most were the ones where I was ranting about something that was, or had occurred, that ticked me off, OR actually happened to me.

I have been neglecting this blog, and I am truly sorry. My time is being spent on more pressing matters. Like running the local quilt guild (the silly members nominated me for President) and learning the Mary Kay business. I am distracted in every task I do by another task that also MUST get done.

Please, faithful readers, hang in with me. I will be re-running my favorite (and ancient) posts this summer. Who knows? My muse could slap me upside the head and I think of something new. Don’t hold your breath for this to happen – but it could.


Things NOT on my Bucket List

Ever since that movie came out,  my friends have been thinking about what they would put on their lists. No one is actually writing these lists down on paper. At least not admitting they are, because after all, we are way too young to be thinking about that.

I have no clue what will be on my list. I do know, however, what will NOT be.

Bicycling down Haleakala (Maui)

Have you seen this?  If you think it looks scary while you watch it on Nat Geo, try being on the same road. There is only one road. It goes up the volcano. It goes down the volcano. The grade is about 5%. You coast from 10,028 ft to sea level in 38 miles. Seems simple. No peddling. Ha! A steep road is only half of the problem.  A twisted, two-lane road makes the trip horrifying. And I was in a car.

Curvy Road Ahead

Understatement

Haleakala Cruisers

“The view is breathtaking!” everyone tells you.

I would not see them because all my focus would be on not crashing my bike into the 300 other tourists also biking down the volcano, being hit by one of the (sane) people driving their car, or coasting right off a cliff.

No Thank You.

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BUNGEE JUMPING OFF THE GOLDEN GATE BRIDGE

 

This is just wrong.This is just wrong!

Aside from being dangerous, this jump was probably  illegal.

Considering it is at night and there is just the couple present .

Hey, maybe he pushed her off the bridge and this is a homicide.

If you ever see me in this position – call the police!

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Running with the Bulls

Don’t kid yourself.

Only the bulls are running with each other. People are running FROM the Bulls.

Gored

Do these guys look  like they are  having fun?  Even I am saner  than this.

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Climb Mount Everest (or Kilimanjaro, or Fuji, etc.)

Just “because it is there”, are you kidding me?  Many things are “there” and I am not one bit tempted to climb them.  That reason to climb a mountain is ridiculous!

The only climbing I want to do is the stairs – when I have to, in order to be where I want to be. Like my daughter’s house. The 2nd story of the mall. My doctor’s office. That kind of climbing.

NOT this…

Mt. Everet ClimbersHanging Out

 

My 15-minutes of fame

For me, any recognition from the media would be embarrassing or damaging to my self-esteem.  People who knew me would not be awed or jealous of my fame.

Outdoor Plumbing

They would roll their eyes and say, “That’s Jodi, alright!”

So, who needs that?

 

Lighten Up For Heaven’s Sake!

My Uncle John sent me this little story back in 2011. I came across it again this week, while looking through older posts.

I don’t know if it’s true, but I hope it is!!

The Yellow Light

Yellow Light

The light turned yellow, just in front of him. He did the right thing, stopping at the cross walk, even though he could have beaten the red light by accelerating through the intersection.

The tailgating woman was furious and honked her horn, screaming in frustration, as she missed her chance to get through the intersection, dropping her cell phone and makeup.
As she was still in mid-rant, she heard a tap on her window and looked up into the face of a very serious police officer. The officer ordered her to exit her car with her hands up.
He took her to the police station where she was searched, fingerprinted, photographed, and placed in a holding cell.
After a couple of hours, a police officer approached the cell and opened the door. She was escorted back to the booking desk where the arresting officer was waiting with her personal effects.
He said, ”I’m very sorry for this mistake. You see, I pulled up behind your car while you were blowing your horn, flipping off the guy in front of you and cussing a blue streak at him. I noticed the ‘What Would Jesus Do’ bumper sticker, the ‘Choose Life’ license plate holder, the ‘Follow Me to Sunday-School’ bumper sticker, and the chrome-plated Christian fish emblem on the trunk, so naturally….I assumed you had stolen the car.”
Hope you enjoyed that ‘story’ as much as I do! I will probably publish more re-runs this spring because I am looking through them trying to find a contest entry among them. Of course, the number of my readers has increased over the years and only my ‘oldest’ ones will remember these!
If any of my posts stuck with you, and you would like to see it again – don’t be shy! Requests flatter me to no end  🙂
♥ TTFN ♥